a moment of clarity

i was just hit with it. a moment of clarity. i am sitting in my office surrounded by clutter. boxes and piles from all of the cleaning out i have been doing over the past 2 weeks to prepare for the yard sale at Quinn’s school this past weekend. things got piled up in my office. things i want to keep. but i have not had time to get to. to sort and put them away. to find a home for all of it. so the day after the yard sale, it is all a big mess. and i feel so overwhelmed by all of the things i have left to do. the stuff i have neglected over the past 2 weeks. the things i have not had time to deal with. i feel the anxiety rising inside of me. i feel my shoulders starting to creep up into my neck, stiff with tension. i am starting to hear that voice in my head say “you’ll never have time to get this all done.” and then i start to believe that voice. and then i start to get all panicked and freaked out. feeling completely overwhelmed.

then i glance over and see the two library books that i picked up last week sitting on my desk. one about food styling and photography. the other one for some inspiration for a journal project i’d like to do someday. and now i sit here wondering why in the world i even spent the time to go to the library and get these books?! i just do not have the time for them right now.  [enter ah-ha moment here...] i’m trying to do too much at one time! and i never saw it that way before. i never realized that i am putting way too many things on my plate. my already full plate. i’m putting pressure on myself to do everything i think about. every idea and every project that pops into my head. and do it all right now. today.

by always focusing on the new things to do, i never give myself the time to complete the projects that i’m already working on. they get pushed aside. forgotten. abandoned. incomplete. and when i realize that my current projects are not finished, i get mad at myself.  more frustrated that nothing ever seems to get done.  i’m just not giving myself the time and attention to focus on one thing at a time. and complete that one thing.

slow down tracy. pace yourself. prioritize. let go. simplify. focus.

pri-or-i-ty: something given or meriting attention before completing alternatives.

priorities. what are my priorities? i need to give my to do list some serious attention and figure out what is most important. what do i REALLY want to complete. how do i want to spend my days? how do i want to spend my days? if i only have a very tiny widow of time, what do i want to fill that time with? things that i love and that make me happy? or things that i feel like i should do or have to do? things that are close to my heart? or things that are not so important?

this is my highest priority…

and so it this…

and telling our story. just for us. in photo books.

off to press photo book page templates by paislee press

i see it so clearly now. it is simple really. i’m going to get rid of the unnecessary. to focus on doing what i love the best. and give myself the space + time to do it. and finish it.

do what you love. easy. you’ve got this one tracy…

show hide 3 comments

Brenda - Tracy,
The “shoulds” – they are a loud and obnoxious bunch. They tend to blot out the “loves” with their overwhelming noise. Kick them to the curb. Listen to the priorities.

stacey - Those photos of your boys are gorgeous.

I never finished the little scrapbook I made of photos from our honeymoon….11 years ago. Thank you for this reminder, especially going into the Christmas season. I have so many things that I want to do with the kids/for the kids/for our family, that often I drown in all of them instead of just sticking to one or two. I am inspired by YOU today.

xox

one little word » the finding of me… - [...] head so many times in so many way over the past few weeks. i gained so much clarity after writing this journal entry. for me, it is about letting go, finding calm, being present, disentangling from the unimportant [...]

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