standing tall

i noticed something about myself. i slouch. hunch my shoulders. put my chin down. shrink from the world. so that i am not noticed. or judged.

when did this happen? i used to walk with purpose. okay with me. confident. liking myself. never worrying at all about what others might think. but that has disappeared. it slipped away — almost unnoticed. how long has it been? how long has my body been saying the words that my head has refused to hear? the words of negativity that have been drowning my soul.

i began to notice my body language in little moments. catching glimpses of myself in mirrors. my reflection in windows. seeing me in photos i didn’t even know i was in. each time i would stop and look at this person. trying to figure out who she was. a stranger to me. not the me that i feel deep inside. in my soul. the me that has been buried under way too much. hidden away for long enough.

aware. i am aware now. of the thoughts and feelings and words that i say to myself. aware of the stories i have been telling myself about me. aware of how easily i believed every. single. negative. word.

no more.

i’m changing the words. and the energy that flows from my soul.

it is amazing how the mind + the body are so connected. and so powerful. together. it is about a shift in my thinking. opening up my awareness of my physical self. noticing when i am slouching. feeling the weight of my arms as my shoulders fall forward. my spine curving out as i hunch over. noticing what is going on around me. stress. chaos. anxiety. life. and then i take a deep breath. a big cleansing yoga breath. and let it all go. releasing the tension in my shoulders as i exhale. rolling my arms back and shaking them out. physically letting go of the negative thoughts + energy that i’m holding inside. and then, i stand taller. shoulders back. chin out. head up. my spine feeling longer.

i am changed in that moment. in how i look. how i feel. what i think about myself. what i say to myself.

with shoulders relaxed and my head held higher, i look different. i feel different. who knows, maybe no one else can see anything different about me in those few minutes. but the person i see looking back at me. she is a whole different person. it is like the real, authentic and self-confident me is peeking out. ready to face the world again.

each one of these moments of awareness is transforming me. bringing me back to myself. standing tall again. one more step in the finding of me…

show hide 3 comments

Hannah - This is such a great post Tracy. I frequently need the reminder to stand tall and confidently.

Brenda - Tracy – such a beautiful post. Here’s to standing tall.

angie - bravo. we all need to stand a bit taller…

ps your hair is getting long! xo

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